How'd that happen? Where has the time gone?!
Been reminiscing and thinking about the "good ol' days". I want to know how it is that we can live through some of the worst terrors in the history of our lives and call it "the good ol' days". For example many 03'ers (albeit there's few and far between of us left) talk about how great Gaia used to be. Things were cheap, 15k got you a Coco when it was new. But do you know how HARD we had to work for that 15k? I fished daily for many hours for my Coco.
One thing I do miss though is the small community we had. Everyone was automatically kind or a troll. Trolls avoided me like the plague though. emotion_omnomnom But do you know how many people I wouldn't have met if that didn't change too?!
I also made my fair share of enemies in those "good ol' days" as most youths do. I was no different than any other teen incapable of telling the full truth, I thought myself to be boring so I invented whole people to fill in the loneliness I had as a child. It carried over to my internet life. Oh the good days of youth and ignorance. I had always thought my charities I ran over the years made up for my faults. Only discovering the hard way that you really can't buy friends.
Since then I have learned and I don't long to relearn any of those hard lessons. I now have a small circle of true friends. A larger circle of people I like or admire but don't seem to appreciate my company equally. And the largest circle of all, people I know but who don't know I exist. I realize typing this I sound like some sort of serial stalker. Mmm cereal..wait sorry wrong kind. I just have learned to not say so much, I still talk a lot when in good company mind you, but I've learned to listen much better and not be too hasty to reply. Sometimes just reading about other people's day good or bad helps me feel a little more human.
I struggle a lot with life in general still as I did when I was a teen. Much of my past history haunts me - there's a reason I had to make up my own family y'know, it wasn't all just for fun wink . But I find it better to not fixate on that quite as much. I'm safe now and that's all that matters. I've taken up walking everyday for 30 minutes. It seems to help, I just wish I could run away from my own tormenting mind.
I digress, this is supposed to be about "good ol' days". The reason I bring that up is because of finding some old friends still around. Val, Uma, etc. I miss them a lot and I can't seem to remember why we stopped being close friends. Maybe we just drifted apart as tends to happen over time when you don't speak daily. I just hope it wasn't a big fight or something that I don't recall. If it was anything I had done, I'm truly sorry. I sure hope if I've forgotten a big eruption of anger, they have too as I'd like to rekindle our friendships. I have a feeling it was something I was to be blamed for and maybe I didn't accept, or maybe I did and respectfully withdrew. I just hope whatever it was I'm forgiven after all this time.
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